Tiffany Says:

Dear Tiffany,

I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. However, I have known him for 5, as we went to college together. I would like to get engaged, but every time I bring it up, he changes the subject. I am getting really annoyed. I think that we are both at a good time in our lives to do it, and I don't understand why he won't propose. I know that I am a good girlfriend and that I will be a good wife. What is his deal?
Sincerely,
Tired of Waiting.



Dear Tired,

The first thing I need you to do is ask yourself why you want to be engaged/get married. Why is it important to you? You need to identify why you need this, before you can go about trying to make it happen. The reason being is that many women do not know why they want this in the first place. Sit down and ask yourself why you desire this. What does marriage mean to you? What will benefit from it? I noticed you said, "We are both at a good time in our lives to do it" You have to realize, that getting married is not something that you can put up on a timeline, though many people do just that. What may be a good time for you, may NOT be a good time for him. Likewise, getting married is a beautiful thing, but it is also a lifelong commitment that should not be ventured into lightly. Just because you feel like it's a good time, is not a good reason for getting married.

Other illogical reasons for getting hitched are as follows: You think it will improve your relationship. This is a very bad idea. The relationship should be secure before you enter into marriage. Too many times, young women think that marriage will help their guy "grow up" and it backfires on them. Putting undo pressure on someone to get married is not only unfair, it is unhealthy and the marriage may suffer from it. Getting married because your family wants you to, or because all your friends are is also not good. Do not let other people rush you in life. It is your life, and you are going to be the one who has to live it.

Once you have sat down and evaluated why you want this, it is time to have a talk with your significant other. Tell him exactly why you want this. Maybe you want to start a family, maybe you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and this ceremony will symbolize that.
Make sure to talk it out calmly. If you are expressing your love, your tone should be loving. Avoid arguing, accusations, or any high pressure/ triggering words. Tell them exactly what you want and why. Important* Ask them what they want as well. You may just find out, that they may not want the same things as you, or may not want them when you do. Remember, there are two people in this relationship. Tell him/her why you are ready NOW. You two may have to come to a decision on when is a good time for you both to take that step. Keep in mind, that you may realize that he may NOT want marriage at at all.

Remember, no matter how much you love someone, if they are not headed in the same general direction you are...it may be best to move on. Never deal with someone who is not open to hearing your feelings, or criticizes you for feeling them. Your feelings are very valid. If you are dealing with someone who is unwilling to compromise or listen to you, this is not the person for you. These conversations should be healthy ones, which help the both of you get on the same page, and nurture your future together. Being criticized for expressing your desires, is wrong. You are worth more than that, and you are worth being heard.

Lastly, I want to say: Marriage can be a beautiful thing, and a wonderful step in your life, but it doesn't always equal happiness. If you are happy right now, the way things are... cherish it and enjoy it because in the end, it is about your BOND with your partner, and not about a piece of paper.

Tiffany Says: Advice blogs coming soon!

I will be giving "Ask Abby" style advice to all of you who write in. Ask me for advice on relationships, school, fashion ,writing, cooking e.t.c..Anything really. I will do my best to answer from experience and research. All questions will remain anonymous on my blog. So what are you waiting for? Ask away!!

Email: Tiffanywrites@rocketmail.com

Letting Go...

I know it still hurts you. I know it still hurts to hear their name. That lump in your throat just aching to take over and steal your voice. Threatening to take control of you and clinging to your heart, with every beat, you feel the past. Like Wisteria climbing the walls of your soul. Weeping. Seething. Aching. Heavy with Sorrow. Tonight though, my love, it is time to let it go.

Nothing comes of holding onto old wounds. Nothing comes of crying for what should have been, or could have been. FORGIVE those who have hurt you. Forgive them wholeheartedly with lungs full of sweet air and arms full of compassion. Let your forgiveness fill every vein , until you succumb to the release that only forgiveness brings. It is time. It is time to do yourself the favor of moving on. It is time to stop letting anger tear you down, limb by limb. Forgiveness is power. It is taking your life back. It is knowing that you survived. That you are not a victim, you are not bitter. You have lived and you have learned.

Forgiveness is having the last laugh, and not a vengeful laugh, but a deep guttural, from the bottom of your belly laugh. Forgiveness is a long sigh on a lily pad, a field of untouched snow, a new chapter. It is the chapter where you realize you're gonna read the book, because you can't put it down now...you want to see what happens next. Forgiveness is not about them. It is about you. Let it go today. Make the choice to not let the past dictate the future. You are where you are for a reason. You followed the path you were supposed to take. Keep going...keep going. Tomorrow is a new day, and you have things to do.

Tie Dye Cupcakes

If you know me well, you know my undying love for cupcakes. The moist delicious mini cakes are perfect for snacking, and can be made so many different ways. Yum! For those of us who don't have the time or skill to bake from scratch, here is a SUPER EASY and fun recipe from a box!! So without further ado, I present to you : TIE DYE CUPCAKES, or CUPCAKE SURPRISE, or ( insert your name)'s fantablous five star cupcakes!! Whatever you want really...

YOU WILL NEED:

Box of white/yellow cake batter (including ingredients called for on box i.e. eggs, and vegetable oil)
Cupcake or muffin baking tray
Cupcake paper cups
2-6 different colors of food coloring
Frosting of your choice
Sprinkles or decor of your choice

STEP 1:

Simply buy a box of any white/yellow cake mix. Vanilla, White, French Vanilla, Yellow, Butter, Golden, and Lemon all work. Follow the directions on the box to make the batter. Usually you just add eggs, oil and water and whisk.

STEP 2:

Separate the batter into 3-6 different bowls. (Depending on how many colors you have, but remember too many colors makes it difficult to prepare) I used 4 pastel colors.


STEP 3

Add 2-3 drops of food coloring to each bowl. You may even mix the food coloring to create diff colors like lavender or lime green, e.t.c..


STEP 4

Now the fun part! Line a muffin or cupcake tray with paper cups, and preheat the oven according to the box. Pour small amounts of each batter into each paper cup. Be creative! Layer them, spiral them, whatever you like! Remember, you don't have to use each color in one cup. Some can have only 2 colors if you like. Note*** ONLY fill cups 2/3 of the way or they will overflow when baking.


Once the cupcakes have baked and COOLED. You are ready for STEP 5:

Frost and decorate!! Use any frosting and decorations you like. I like to stick with Vanilla, because it surprises people when they bite into the cupcake and find a rainbow! If you want however, you can mix some food coloring into the frosting and make colored frosting. :)

LASTLY, you want to take a bite!

And there you have it!

For more of my easy food fixes, go to the TOPICS section on the right hand side of the page and click RECIPES!

Oh, and don't forget to subscribe to stay in touch, by entering your email on the top right!





“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
- Virginia Woolf

An open letter to Walmart

Dear Walmart,

You have managed to give me food poisoning, put the wrong tires on my car, and sell me a bookcase that fell apart on my head. Yet, all of this I took with a grain of salt, and a swig of Pepto. However, the time has come where one learns to draw the line somewhere.

Walmart, you are a red monopolizing scam of a corporation that preys on the middle to lower class citizens of America. There I said it. You hire unqualified individuals to do just about anything, and pay them the lowest wages possible. The lack of economic competition to produce goods and services is troublesome, while your lack of viable goods are astounding, to say the least. Also, you are NOT China, despite what you may think. You have wiped out the majority of small businesses from here to Kingdom come, and it is shameful. However, there is no use in beating a dead horse, so I will get down to it. It is not the fact that you are an enterprise of shameful high riders, with heads in a cloud of stolen money, it is the fact that your quarry are the under developed and the misinformed. Now you are planning on opening up a "Hispanic Walmart". I sincerely hope not. How dare you charge people for produce that is far from fresh. The produce you offer is disgusting, and I for one, will no longer remain silent. I will call for the boycott of your so called "goods", because you are not pulling the wool on this "hispanic" anymore. Appall-Mart is more like it.



PERSONAL PHOTOS TAKEN BY MYSELF:

ONIONS

ONIONS

RED ONIONS

MANGO SELECTION

There were flies everywhere, and fruit on the floor! There was also Celery and Potatoes with Mold on them, and Cucumbers with slices and gashes in them. Despicable!

Linger

Ever notice how a single scent can send you flying back in time, to a certain period in your life or event? The smell of leather reminds me of my mother while I was growing up. During the winters she always wore a long form fitting leather jacket with a red scarf and Italian leather gloves. Her breath always smelled like Doublemint ( her favorite gum) and like most women in the late 80's, my mother wore Charlie by Revlon perfume. The quintessential perfume of the modern day working woman. Sensual, powerful, it smelled a lot like Cedar to me. It reminded me of a chest of old blankets, hibernating for the summer. Warm and promising, when you needed it.

Scent is such a powerful medium as it evokes the strongest of memories. I have almost cried after smelling a stranger walk by me, who wore the perfume of a loved one who has passed. I have once, been instantly transported to my first love, when someone wearing Liz Claiborne's Curve, handed me some change at the gas station.

Whether it be the smoky smell of a campfire ...the waxy smell of a new box of crayons...or the smell of my father's old car, I am convinced that there is nothing more powerful, than that of which we breathe and the aroma that life has to offer.

Look for my upcoming perfume reviews!

On being alone...

A brilliant poem by Tanya Davis.